I carry around a quote book (aka Blackberry) and write (type) in funny things when I hear, see, or say them. Good times.
"they're all these annoying white girls with names like erin and patty."
"pipetting is badass"
"did you know that we are living in the future?"
"dude, when do we not rock it the fuck out?"
"what do marine biologists talk about at lunch? norwals"
"you dress like a fly girl going to the gym."
"i play with my dad a lot and i don't hate him."
"we better change this to a woman's voice so i pay attention to it." regarding car dps system
"stop it with the chicken dinners, you need some caviar"
"bright, ricey/fruity, good body, long finish"
"ellen + kanye = hot hip hop kiddies"
"i've got to congradulate you. your paul wall status is now undeniable as you have ze internets goin nuts."
"i'll show you off like a diamond ring."
"stop being so idealistic and just shag."
"heads don't mend as well as shoulders."
"say no to facial hair."
"i don't know how long a cat with no balls would last in the street."
"hipster events should be sponsored by deodorant companies because there clearly isn't enough in the building."
"hey, this has cocks and handles."
"but i'm square peg."
"i'm one big ball of negligence."
"last time i followed the recipe but this time i followed my heart."
"you're not teaching us nothing, our mamas nursed us on yuengling."
"i love when you call me 'woman.' to show my excitement, i'm going to throw your coat on the floor."
"i feel like republicans who live in the suburbs need painted wooden ducks."
"he admired my fish shirt."